Monday, October 31, 2005


not so tired this morning despite quite the busy weekend. slept in a bit, altho i do have that pinched cheekbones feeling that i get when i'm not getting enough sleep. but at least i'm not hunched over my desk or the keyboard. sitting quite straight, thank you very much.

yesterday was my first time coordinating first shift at B & J's (and they had me training someone else already!). went very well--and there were LOTS of clients. luckily we had enough food.

i'm realizing now that the orange chunks that were in my "red lentil mango stew" last night may have been mangos, altho i assumed they were carrots. they didn't taste like mangos. but that could have been because i assumed they were carrots so they tasted carroty to me. or maybe the au bon pain people try to fool their customers by substituting expensive mangos with cheap carrots? it was good soup, none the less. and i don't like mangos so i was glad that the orange chunks were not mango-y.

chaucer aquired a new middle name this weekend. fitzgerald, as in F. scott. chaucer fitzgerald. quite dignified if you ask me.

Saturday, October 29, 2005


well, it's saturday, and i'm at work.

but, but, but...this morning as i was walking to the train it was spitting snow! snow! that's soooooo exciting. i mean, by the time january comes and we're up to our ears in brown muck it won't be so exciting but since it's the first time, it's nice.

lots of things to do today both in lab and home. and then a busy sunday tomorrow.

but at least i get an exra hour of sleep tonight (unless i get up early to make D breakfast, as promised).

don't forget to fall back.

Friday, October 28, 2005


helping the undergrad out this morning.

journal club, then i can do some of my experiments later. maybe actually figure some things out. i mean, in lab, at least.

no, i can't even think about Gal 2:20 without feeling a thousand times better.

maybe i'll try to do some more dancing for xiaomin today. she always enjoys that.

up and down

yesterday was a bit overwhelming for me. such that i didn't sleep so well last night. at least i had a pooka to wake up to. oh, pooka.

i hate feeling like something that i can't control is controlling me, or my life. so after crying for awhile i had to ask God to forgive me for not remembering that it is He who is in control and not circumstances that surround me.

"and it is no longer i who live..."

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

gender roles every where you look

a six letter word for "feminine"

any guesses? anyone?


that's right--it's "female".

besides being one of the worst crossword puzzles EVER, now i get to be inundated with how i'm supposed to be "feminine" while i do my spare change news crossword.

in other news, i broke down today and wore thermals under my pants. how feminine!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

file this under no kidding

can i send this secretly to anne?

cold room

why does it always seem like the coldest, wettest days are the ones i have to spend in the cold room at work?

and why does the cold room seem like the punishment place for scientists?

and why do i seem to increasingly be stuck there?

is it a casual or a causal relationship?

Monday, October 24, 2005


i am now verboten to write about such mundane things as daily tasks.

i have to be much more abstract because that is witty and cool. and that's what i need to be (apparently).

so, here we go.

the leaves are really starting to fall off the trees and i'm bundling up because the weather is getting colder and pretty soon i'll have to be wearing thermals under my clothes (why are thermals called long johns?).

speaking of which--did you know someone else "owns" 20% of your dna? now, technically speaking, you can do what you want with your body, and no one is going to try to snatch your DNA from you. and they won't sue you for patent infringment for your own body replicating itself. but there you go.

it's not that i didn't know about this stuff. i mean, come on, i'm a scientist and up on all the inside scoops. plus i've been told on numerous occasions that i "know everything".

but i'm just out here trying to distribute the knowledge to all you little folks. the blind masses who read (in braille) my blog.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

odds and ends

doing laundry, some yoga, and blogging--all at once. that's what you call multi-tasking.

didn't go to church this morning (have to sleep some time) but i did go volunteer at B & J's this afternoon--i was semi-coordinating today. basically getting trained to do first shift for next week. i like first shift--you get to cook and do your own thing and not so much clean-up. but second shift rocks cuz you get to hang out with the folks coming for the meal. i can't describe how awesome these folks are. i also may be coordinating next sunday first shift even tho that was supposed to be my sunday off, but they need someone and it's hard to say no. altho i'll have to miss sunday seminar and community meal at church, so i need to think about it somemore.

anyway, today i made some apple pancakes. no, they weren't vegan. but what can you do? everyone wanted some--including all the other volunteers. i was happy they came out so well considering i didn't have a recipe or any measuring devices. i do seem to be good at throwing things together.

yesterday was girls' brunchy morning thing. the big D took off (he's so considerate) so we could have the place to ourselves. i made pumpkin bread, apple-cranberry crisp, and gingerbread with lemon sauce. they loved it and we got to chat and catch up and have fun. i love those girls.

it makes me sad tho too. one will be leaving in april and the other probably next october. my other two best friends have already left boston (altho one may come back next year). it always seems like my friends are leaving me. and it is hard to make new friends. it takes time, time, time.

friday night i got to check out blue shirt cafe, which i'm uber-excited about. a great place to get vegan wraps. they had SO many! eeek! (that's my squeel of excitement. which i never do in real life, but this is the web, so i can do whatever i want, right?) had a good time.

back to work tomorrow. gah. i cannot do another 60hr week. and i won't! so there, anne. take that!

Friday, October 21, 2005

the curious incident

of the dog in the night-time,

a novel by mark haddon.

about a boy (christopher) with autism.

"and father said, 'christopher, do you understand that i love you?'

and i said, 'yes,' because loving someone is helping them when they get into trouble, and looking after them, and telling them the truth, and Father looks after me when i get into trouble, like coming to the police station, and he looks after me by cooking meals for me, and he always tells me the truth, which means that he loves me."

and everyone said, awwww....

Thursday, October 20, 2005

this is why

the democrats annoy me and i have trouble reading "progressive" blogs like daily kos.

from daily kos.

re: possible grand jury indictments of members of the bush admin

"I know there's a component of my response that says "God, wouldn't it be great to get those smug bastards." But if i'[sic] a decent person, my true motivation has to be justice for the Plame outing and getting rid of these people who are so low and sleazy and destructive to what America has built."

to what america has what america has built.

let's review some of the things that america has built:

institutionalized white racism, destruction of native america nations, world-wide modern imperialism born on the backs of africans and east asian peoples, institutionalized poverty.

to name a few of my favorites. america is no dream nation where everything was wonderful until the republicans came along and screwed it up. it was not founded on a premise of equality for anyone other than the wealthy white males who didn't want england telling them what to do--they wanted to be the new england and tell the masses of labor below them what to do.

america is not blue vs red. it is me vs you, and all i want, i want for me.

and until the democrats see that, they'll continue to be the same as the republicans. but i'm not holding my breath.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

why am i doing this?

Favorite Color: dark purple
Favorite Food: indian
Favorite month: february
Favorite Song: "swan dive", ani difranco
Favorite Movie: willy wonka and the chocolate factory
Favorite Sport: to watch--football; to play--volleyball
Favorite Season: autumn
Favorite Day Of the week: thursday
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: coffee--something i can never find in soy/rice ice cream
Favorite Time of Day: whenever i am sleeping

Current Mood: tired (is that a mood? if not, i'm too tired for a mood)
Current Taste: strawberry candy i'm sucking on
Current Clothes: favorite blue shirt over red t-shirt. jeans, sneakers. otherwise known as "the uniform".
Current Desktop: kitties cuddling and grooming each other!
Current Toenail Color: whitish, pinkish, yellow
Current Time: 418pm
Current Surroundings: office
Current Thoughts: how long till i get to go to sleep?

First Best Friend: barbara, in kindergarten
First Kiss: summer after i turned 15, if you mean "real" kiss.
First Screen Name: bunic13
First Pet: chaucer
First Piercing: ears. i was 8. only piercings too.
First Crush: charlie, my pastor's son.
First CD: jagged little pill, alanis.

Last Cigarette: never tried one. ewww!
Last Drink: water
Last Car Ride: going to maine with my mom over labor day
Last Kiss: i plead the fifth.
Last Movie Seen: maybe "tibet: cry of the snow lion"? can't remember distinctly.
Last Phone Call: that i actually answered? i never answer. otherwise, the texan.
Last CD Played: kathleen edwards, back to me

Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Guy/Girl Friends: yes, and yes. sigh.
Have You Ever Broken the Law: Yes
Have You Ever Been Arrested: no
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: No
Have You Ever Been on TV: yes, but only peripherally
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: no

Thing You're Wearing: a watch
Thing You've Done Today: activity assays, cleaning a column, picking some new recipes to try
Thing You Can Hear Right Now: people walking down the hall
Thing You Can't Live Without: jesus!
Thing You Do When You're Bored: i'm never bored except at work b/c i always find something do do. if i'm bored at work i' some work. huh.

1. home
2. the train
3. work
4. nowhere else. isn't my life sad?

1. mom
2. jillian
3. dlamming

1. Black or White: black.
2. Hot or Cold: hot

live in a foreign country


this just made my day.

i also need to explain that when i chaucer and i play he likes to pretend he is scared when i'm chasing after him. he runs away and i run after him and he hides and ducks behind and under couches and whatnot. but the cutest part is that he thinks when he is on his alpine scratcher (re: the photo) that he is "safe", meaning mommy cannot get him. so he'll run around pretending he's scared until he gets to his scratcher and then acts all confident and "safe".

it's too cute.


over my desk.

i hate being so tired i can't even find the energy to sit up straight.

i've already had a cup of tea since i got to work, and the thought of doing anything productive today seems so overwhelming.

13 hours at work yesterday, 11 tomorrow. so many non-work things to do too.

my fingernails are like weapons today. i keep scraping myself. my nails grow at a ridiculous rate. so does my hair. unlike my hair, which i've just let grow due primarily to economical reasons, my nails have to keep getting cut. but i get tired of doing it every week. so two weeks goes by and by then i've started causing nearly life-threatening wounds whenever my fingers happen to come in contact with another piece of my skin.

i really need to refill the bird feeder too, so chaucer can have better kitty-TV to watch during the day when he's all by himself. oh, chaucery-poo.

Monday, October 17, 2005

kathleen edwards


I remember the way
Driving home late
Speeding all the way
Alone in the rain
I was rehearsing a part
From down at the bar
My mouth smelled like a drink
We were laughing, I think
I've been away

Do you pick up your phone
Do you check your mail
Do you answer your door even if it's late?
I don't know who to call
I don't know who to write
And I think I forgot
What your face looks like
I've been away

Do you think that I've changed
I swear I never tried
Memory is a terrible thing
When you use it right
I was rehearsing a part
From down at the bar
My mouth smelled like a drink
We were laughing, I think
I've been away

the rain has stopped

and now the air is drying out. time for me to start the lotion regime again. i'm such a low maintenance person that to even take the time to lotion is annoying. i mean, i don't even normally comb my hair with a brush!

ended up getting my new cellphone yesterday. no, i'm not one of those--oh, my cell phone is a year old, must be time for a new one--type person. my phone was 3.5 years old and the only reason i got rid of it was its tendency to randomly shut itself off and not give me my messages for weeks at a time. the guy who helped me was incredulous that i'd had the same phone for 3.5years. i though about trying to explain about the whole trying to avoid the coltan trade as much as possible (another link for you) but things like that are about as much use as trying to explain to a newly engaged woman why you're not ogling over her diamond ring.

anyway, i did! get to go to my favorite bookstore in the whole world, since i was over in that area. ended up buying some books (how could i resist?) even though i'm trying to be extremely budget conscious. i got the latest installment of sarah kramer's expertise with la dolce vegan! and then went home and spent sunday evening reading over the luscious sounding new recipes. ahhh...i have sooo many things to try. just when i was getting tired of making the same 10 things over and over.

this week seems like it will be a busy one. but at least saturday is my once-a-month brunch with the girls! i rarely get excited about getting together with other human beings but this is a wonderful exception.

Friday, October 14, 2005

from the book

this book

"because the economy has become global, the commons now encompasses the entire planet....Quantitatively, the average US citizen consumes the same resources as ten average world citizens or twenty-five residents of india. Our continued economic development coexists in some tension with a corollary of the archetype of progress: the notion that America's cause is the cause of all humankind. Thus our economic leadership is very different from our political leadership. Politically, we can hope other nations will put in place our forms of democracy and respect for civil liberties. Economically, we can only hope other nations will never achieve our standard of living, for if they did, the earth would become a desert. economically, we are the bane, not the hope of the world. since the planet is finite, as we expand our economy we make it less likely that less developed nations can expand theirs."

now, there are some things i disagree with here. like, american democracy and civil rights should be the hope of the world. i find it difficult reading that from loewen, even, given the rest of the book and the lack of democracy and civil rights in the US. i also don't think america's cause is the cause of all humankind--never really bought into the whole manifest destiny thing, but i know most americans (unconsciously or not) do.

BUT, i do like this rebuttal to the capitalist/libertarian thinking that economic growth and commercialism will make the third world raise up to our standard of living. i mean, we've already seen it not work the last 50years or so. but here is a bit of (socialist?) theory to buttress the point.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005


six hours of sleep last night. so, yeah, i'm tired.

got home at 6pm, but didn't get to bed till 1130! between working out, making dinner, having dinner, cleaning up, getting ready for bed, and playing with the chaucer time flies. or flys?

i know i'm really tired when my vocabulary starts to go. it's always the signal.

chaucer makes me sooooo happy. except when he decides to take his (very loud) bath on my bed when i'm trying to get to sleep. but at least we are working out sleeping positions. and by "we", i mean i'm learning how to fit myself somewhat comfortably around his orange mass. seriously, i only have a twin bed and i'm not a size 2 and neither is chaucer, frankly.

all of sudden he is mr. wet-food kitty. for the last 5 weeks that his abode has been
the terrace he refused wet food. it got a big "paw-paw-paw" (like he's digging the ground to bury it) and a cursory glance. but then the last two days--he's clamoring for the stuff! practically doesn't want his dry food.

but! at least we found a treat that he likes. i mean, besides catnip. and no, i'm not talking about cat-caine. altho i'm sure he would like that too.
it's a crunchy treat. which goes along with his whole liking dry food thing.

but back to me being tired. i find myself saying things like: "huh?" a lot. and then i find that veeerrrryy interesting. because my mind moves at the speed of a slug.

on another topic entirely, i really recommend reading "lies my teacher told me" by james loewen, if you haven't already. all about how we (the american public) are propogandized by our schooling.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005


it occured to me yesterday as i was walking into lab and trying to figure out what day it was that it's october already.

that means three more months and it will be 2006. can you believe that? three more months. that's nothing. i'll be 26 next year, which isn't an especially nice sounding age to be. 25, fine; 27, fine; 30, fine. but 26 has no ring to it. it's a lame age to be, frankly, and i'll be it for a whole year. not that that year will last long. they never do. pretty soon it will be october 2006 and i'll be writing this post all over again.

and i'll be in my fifth year of grad school and i'll want to cry. i already want to cry.


" Tons of household chemicals that were once stored safely in garages, bathrooms and kitchen cabinets along the Gulf Coast pose a potential environmental threat after being scattered by Hurricane Katrina and its twin Rita."

from CNN

stored safely...stored safely.... let's think about this for a minute. these chemicals (like bleach, household cleaners, etc) were not stored "safely" because these products are not "safe."

bleach is not safe for the environment. paint is not safe for the environment.

the waters of new orleans are toxic waste because of the toxins we use every day to "clean" and "sanitize" the world around us.


Tuesday, October 04, 2005


it seems to me like it wouldn't be that difficult to earn a living wage just off of participating in experiments and doing odd job type things off of craig's list.

of course, you would probably also have to spend half your time living in hospitals, since the sleep studies are the big money makers.

so, i probably still wouldn't get to spend any more time with chaucer. sigh.

Monday, October 03, 2005

orange cats

plus this is making me die of cuteness!


common complaints

not enough sleep this wkd--usual things: cleaning, groceries, cooking, church that take up soooo much more time than they should. plus everything takes longer without a car.

i can't wait till i'm a "wealthy" postdoc. maybe then i can have a car. that's my new fantasy.

started a small group yesterday. it's good, filled with people i already know and like, which is really good. it's so hard tho, the whole church thing. thinking about going to some church where i'll be less than happy with everything that is going on. but trying not to judge. but judging, and then judging myself for having no right no judge.

now i need to go talk with the insurance lady about some unpaid bills.

it's monday. what can i say?