another day

wow, what a weekend.

i went to a new church. it was okay, decent. i prayed that i wouldn't be too critical while i was there. trying to hear the voice of god, and all. i don't think i was, but i also don't think it is really the church for me, although i do like their heavy emphasis on social works and giving. i'm going to check out someplace else this weekend.

i also got together for prayer. how amazing. i need to pray more. i've been successful two days so far. i want to pray, feel so much better when i'm doing it, when i'm giving part of myself and my life to God and yet i've been so afraid to. so afraid of the sacrifices that He will call me to. how often lately i've wanted to not believe.

anyway, i'm reading "red moon rising" by peter greig. SO amazing. i was recommended it by a friend.

it's about 24-7 prayer. even though i have trouble doing it prayer is something i'm passionate about. i'm nearly done now. this book will make you want to DO something, so be warned. if you're not ready, i wouldn't read it. then again, if you're not ready, it might make you ready.

here's a great part: "Perhaps He longs that we would vacate our buildings from time to time, that we would turn our temples into tabernacles, that we would become like Him, the friend of sinners.

we are the light of the world, but no one wants to stare at the bulb. we are the salt of the earth, but a whole plate of the stuff will make you sick. the people of God are called to scatter and mix, to mingle and move, to influence from a position of weakness, like a small child in a large family, like yeast in a loaf, like a mustard seed beneath a pavement."

oh, that i will do that effectively.

i've become weak in all the wrong ways. desperate for something to cling to in a world that is always changing. i jumped from the deck of a ship during a rain storm into the sea to find a place not to drown.