smile upon your face

not swymming, more like sinking.

not wymming, more like whining.

where is everyone like me? am i the only one like me? who sees the devastation to this world? who disagrees with capitalism and war and is a feminist who wants to change the system (maybe destroy the system, as my new mag lip would suggest).

i feel so discouraged. nothing will change and people will still be selfish, self seeking and unwilling to make connections between things in their life.

between their actions and the destructive consequences.

where should i go to church? should i continue in grad school? how do i get out of this cycle of not leading a holy life? how do i stop caring about myself? how do i stop myself from being self seeking?

how i can change myself? it seems so hard and i have so little energy in the first place, never mind leftover after work.

yes, please, take me back to the start. thank God coldplay is depressed too.