Thursday, December 22, 2005

euthanasia in new orleans

CNN is now reporting that allegations of euthanasia by doctors at the hospitals in new orleans after katrina hit may be true and that these doctors will be tried for this "crime".

"The physicians and staff responsible for the care of patients, many of whom were gravely ill, faced loss of generator power, the absence of routine medical equipment to sustain life, lack of water and sanitation facilities, extreme heat in excess of one hundred degrees, all occurring in an environment of deteriorating security, apparent social unrest and the absence of governmental authority. Dr. Pou and other medical personnel at Memorial Hospital worked tirelessly for five days to save and evacuate patients, none of whom were abandoned. We feel confident that the facts will reveal heroic efforts by the physicians and the staff in a desperate situation."

all i can say is, if these doctors are tried for euthanasia/ murder then so should FEMA director mike brown and george bush for forcing those conditions upon the staff and patients there for five days by giving one of the most lame-ass responses to disaster.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

catswym, champion of puppies

so, this morning i'm walking to the train and all of a sudden i meet up with this little brown puppy. he's wearing a red harness and looking particularly cold (being in the teens fahrenheit last night, i can understand why). i think: okay puppy, i'll go around you, don't bite me and i hope your folks let you in soon!

i walk a little bit further and notice a sign for a "lost puppy" named Hank, who is brown, very short haired and was last seen last night, off leash wearing a red harness!

i'm thinking, okay, i'm late for my train, this is going to make me miss it, the puppy could have already run away again, but should i call? yeah, i should. i walk back down the street, see the puppy, call the people.

they were ecstatic. all "do you see him right now?" "we've been looking for him all night" "call him to you" (i already had called "hank" to which he gave me a curious: do i know you? look).

anyway, they were just down the streeet but i'm glad i called because: a, it was cold; b, he could have run again; c, he kept darting into the street--not a great thing to do in the city.

and it was soooooo wonderful to see how happy they were at the sight of their beloved puppy.

and it basically made my morning.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

coffee and ethiopian food

last night was christmas at the terrace (as my home is generally called, even tho we no longer live on the terrace). we used to live on a terrace, and apparently this was another in a long line of simpsons' references that i don't get.

how exciting! (early christmas, not simpsons' references.)

i got: Are men necessary?

so, i've heard nothing but bad things about this book (and not just from male reviewers) but i'm curious to read it.

i also got chocolate covered espresso beans---yum. i really really like these things.

and speaking of that, coffee was the only thing that got me out of bed this morning. i have a fair amount of work to do today and we have our "lab dinner" tonight at the ethiopian restaurant in town.

and it's really dawning on me that christmas is less than a week away and i'll get to go "home" and i'm in a good mood and actually excited about seeing my family. can you believe it?

Monday, December 19, 2005

i suppose

oh, the weekend. you are a cruel mistress who teases with her fleeting presence.

i did get to watch "the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy".

i recommend it as a pretty funny movie. i haven't read the books, so probably most of the jokes were over my head (the towel???), and i had low expectations going in--esp as i thought it was the flatmate's choice.

turned out to be good after all.

caught up on cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping. that's what weekends are for, i suppose.

i also picked out a present for my father. the hardest one to get.

he's getting Guns, Germs and Steel. a really great book if you haven't read that.

i'm just full of recommendations aren't i?

i was also glad to see that the reason they put a fence around this building near my house was not nearly as sketchy as i had thought--they were tearing it down. all of a sudden one day last week there was a fence about five feet from the building, even covering over the sidewalk. that didn't strike me as a good sign. and maybe it wasn't--and now they've destroyed the evidence.



willow poem

It is a willow when summer is over,
a willow by the river
from which no leaf has fallen nor
bitten by the sun
turned orange or crimson.
The leaves cling and grow paler,
swing and grow paler
over the swirling waters of the river
as if loth to let go,
they are so cool, so drunk with
the swirl of the wind and of the river—
oblivious to winter,
the last to let go and fall
into the water and on the ground.

~william carlos williams

Friday, December 16, 2005

once in a sycamore i was glad

NRM news flash: it be some treacherous conditions out there right now.

if you're in the northeast corner of the united states, i'd stay home if i were you.

there's a thin layer of ice underneath rain coming down. most of the way to the train i walked on the road, since the heat from the cars mostly melts the ice.

in other news, on pieces of lab equipment and machinery it is common to tape the card of the tech person whom one calls if said equipment breaks down.

for the ultrasound at my doctor's office--this persons's name is Thaddeus Penas.

how do you think that last name is pronounced? cuz i know how i think it's pronounced and it's funny in that "ironic" sort of way, given that this piece of equipment is used in a ladies' doctor's office.

i'm hoping this person grew up in a foreign country. otherwise, all i could think was, poor kid.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

more pepper should do it

pain sucks.

the last four days have been pain-filled wonderlands.

last night i was talking to my mom and started laughing maniacally while describing the pain of this weekend. perhaps i'm actually starting to lose my mind? oh, who am i kidding--maybe i've lost my mind?

i did get to do some cooking and cleaning at home the last couple days since i haven't felt the ability to stay at work all day, and i certainly can't work out.

i made a new recipe--corn chowder this week. it's decent, and i made some whole wheat biscuits to go along with. next time i need to add a bit more spice to it--more veggie broth and pepper should do it.

i have to go to the doctor's office tomorrow. i'm hoping it's just a cursory visit so that he can give me pain meds and be asured i'm not drug seeking. well, not drug seeking in the bad way, rather than trying to foist hormonal mind control on me.

oh, and i don't drink flouridated water either.

oh, john berryman--how you understand henry and me.

Monday, December 12, 2005

mmp 12-12

dream song no 1

Huffy Henry hid the day
unappeasable Henry sulked
I see his point,--a trying to put things over.
it was the thought that they thought
they could do it made Henry wicked and away.
but he should have come out and talked.

All the world like a woolen lover
once did seem on Henry's side.
Then came a departure.
Thereafter nothing fell out as it might or ought.
I don't see how Henry, pried
open for all the world to see, survived.

What he has now to say is a long
wonder the world can bear & be.
Once in a sycamore I was glad
all at the top and I sang.
Hard on the land wears the strong sea
and empty grows every bed.

~john berryman

Saturday, December 10, 2005

bleery eyed

it's okay to stay still if it makes you better

it's okay to stare if it keeps you from leaving.

~julie doiron

i promised myself not to be lazy this weekend.

and here i am being lazy.

Friday, December 09, 2005

too much spam for me

in case you didn't know--it's snowing today.

i used to live just off the main road in The People's Rebuplic of Cambridge. it was nice. people shoveled, the roads were clear, sidewalks were wide so you didn't get car spray.

now i live in craptown, mass. i was so tempted to not come into work today. the road wasn't clear outside my house, no one had shoveled. it looked like the world was holed up.

and then i get to the train station and there were tons of people there. same thing at school. but all the public schools are apparently closed today. doesn't it make you wish you were a high school teacher.


yesterday was a new low. my flatmate--we'll call him "d" here-- is broken. his back is out and so i've taken to carrying his packages up the stairs to the apartment. but yesterday i reached my limit.

"d" is getting drugs in the mail. there was a package which obviously contained a drug bottle, and if you shook the envelope you could hear all the pills rattling around.

he says they are for his "back". i'm dubious--i mean, we all get the spam, don't we? we all know what "drugs in the mail" are really all about.

either way, i'm no drug running mule.


new posting comments settings. too much spam for me. let's see if this helps.


busy weekend ahead. i need to stop being so lazy.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

if you were a little girl

why is it that the phrase "anything's possible" becomes so negative as one grows older?

when you're little "anything's possible" is the world awaiting. fresh and open, thinkable was attainable.

if you were a little girl you could think about being the president! it was real. you could be a firefighter, a CEO, a nobel prize winnning physicist. if you were a little boy you could be the "first gentleman", a house-husband, an elemenatry school teacher.

you screamed it out as a defense of your dreams: "anything's possible".

your parents and loved one whispered it in your ears: "anything's possible".

dream big, live wildly and hope hope hope. because hope was alive and tangible.

and then you get old, and bury deep inside the world and dreams lose their flavor and hope loses its scent.

and people tell you something wild and then ask, "it's possible, isn't it?" pleading for you to help them, hold them, cradle them in their desire for that to be real, credible.

and you answer back, "yeah, anything's possible," in a tone of voice which leaves an unspoken "you naive fool" behind it. you hear yourself saying it, saying those words like they are coming out of someone elses' mouth to crush your own aspirations, dreams, wishes to be true. you make that true for yourself at the same time you make it true for someone else.

because we live with doubts and hopelessness and failed enterprises and longings and desired unfulfilled and ungiven. and we are afraid that it isn't possible and so i make it so.

tuesday morning lover

gently you wake me up
nudge me, rub me out of bed

the thought of you gets me up;
warm, soft, smooth i let you in

constant, thorough, welcoming
my breath, my need fulfilled

later you will be there again
to see me through the day

through the night, through long weeks
when there is nothing else

and back again i return
home, full, done, satisfied

Monday, December 05, 2005

mon morning column

i like the idea of a monday morning poem. so i'll start posting one, hopefully every week. it won't always be e.e., but today it will be again.

"i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)"

old time busy days

you can tell the moment you step over the line from somerville to cambridge.

nobody shovels their walks in somerville. nobody puts down de-icer or salt or sand. no body cares if you live or die.

step into cambridge. clear walks, evidence of de-icer. people have shoveled, rather than let the fallen inch or two of snow morph into sheer ice due to the friction of peoples' bootsteps.

yesterday was one of those old time busy days.

four loads of laundry; church; pay bills/ go thru two weeks of mail; make cookies, muffins, bread and curry pot pie for dinner; made a dozen christmas cards. all in one day. and then, last night, the pooka decided to sleep in the center of the bed without moving. you say, why not just push him aside? yeah, i wish i could do that. he's a nearly twenty pound beast who will not move if he doesn't wish to move.

i also watched "born into brothels" this weekend.

i loved it. it's a movie about children living in india's red light district (their mothers are sex workers). visually beautiful and an interesting way to tell a story--thru the children's photographs and stories. recommended.